Adulting

 

So here I am again. Still here and fortunately (unfortunate for readers) writing. So being 19, the last of my teenage and stepping into adulthood, what had caught my (and a lot of 18 and 19y/o peeps) attention is adulting. 

The normal overview of Adulting shown by people about doing all the chores from cooking ,cleaning and basic stuff wasn’t something new for me as I have lived far from family from a good time. But the serious stuffs like balancing personal and professional life, managing money etc well I have experienced and seen them close enough to not get scared. Getting into certainties , accepting your parents can be your hero but a lot wrong and not getting the comfort of being a KID are some which took time to adjust but did eventually.

The real scary part that shook me to the core was seeing my close ones passing away. Losing two of my people in last 4 months to unnatural deaths with one being my age and another I was super close to , whom I called my sarparast(Guardian) was something I was never ready for. And how does even one get ready for something like this. That’s when the term BALANCE hit me, something I as a late teen stepping into adulthood would take into consideration in almost every thing. Not being Vague but Balance between our personal and professional lives? Well No, Not about OUR likes, wants, love, relationships etc but the one we often(I did) take for granted. Spending time with the people who would be genuinely happy seeing us succeed, who raised us and never betrayed, who saw us change and grow and who waits for us to talk to them, to meet them , to ask how they’re doing and how much we still love and care about them. Spend enough time with them that even if they pass you just hold more memories than topics left to talk to them , Visit them enough so when they leave it’s the memories and not regrets or guilts. Make sure their passing isn’t regretful enough for you to carry that baggage till you leave your body.

For me teenage meant the space to make mistakes, to be flawed but not low and most importantly extreme , to go ALL IN, at least this is what I learnt from my sarparast(Sir , how I address him) and he gave me that teenage to fly beyond the sky, becoming good enough to leave that small town and go to the state capital and further to the national capital. Trust me it’s big for a guy from a town as small as area between 2-3 metro stations. He gave me the wings and confidence which made me come here to the big world , where I eventually started things I personally like and trying to fit a career along , to go ALL IN for what I truly want to be but in the time when his  teachings pushed me , I somewhere forgot to reach him, to ask him How he’s doing and tell him I am still there for him. Well He left for Heaven (He was an atheist but for sure he deserves and surely is in a place like heaven now)

The baggage of past can’t be allowed to affect my future , a future he would have loved to see but somewhere a weight would remain of not doing what I should have as someone he treated like own son for him and most probably it’ll be there till I reach hell. 

Teenage, early adulthood is surely a time we go ALL IN and push every limit. But not having a balanced life is far far worse than not having a balanced work life. I would sit extra hours working if that’ll allow me to meet my blood and heart people. Balance is Important but the most important one is surely between working for dreams and keeping the people who would love to see you accomplish your dreams. 

Talk to your people today, meet them frequently and tell them you care , you love and you haven’t taken them for granted.

To Sir,

Hope you’re at peace and atheism is being discussed in heaven.

Being not so atheist like you but just like a heaven for you I wish there’s another life as well and you’ll be my teacher, my guru and guardian again. And for sure like you meant when you called a son this time, I’ll be a better one next time meaning that. 

Rest well there,  you’ve taught me enough to not let you down ever again.

Thanks and I miss you.